It’s no secret that a lot of people look down upon themselves for the way they look. Some people are more confident with themselves than others but for the most part there’s always something we can criticise about our own bodies. I love the whole body positivity movement and there’s quite a lot being done and written to tell women and men that no matter what you look like, you are worthy and it’s important to stop putting the way you look down so much.
But what about your personality?
I am sure that everyone has something about their personality that they don’t like and they wish they could change. Of course there are some things, like being nice for example, that you can work on (and you should!) but other things, that are intrinsic to you, is difficult or nearly impossible to change.
Your personality is your personality in the end, it’s who you are.
For example, the thing that I don’t like about my personality and I wish I could change is that I get angry quite quick with the people close to me. Especially if I’m already in a mood I’m not afraid to raise my voice very quickly and just say that I don’t like something. This only really happens to very close family, aka mostly my boyfriend. I am not often mad for a long time, normally after 5 minutes it’s passed and I’m not angry anymore. But I still hate the fact that I can’t just remain calm about it and express my feelings in a more calm manner.
I am sure that I am not the only one who hates an aspect of her personality. And I feel that it needs to be talked about more, your personality is what matters most when socialising after all.
But what are we going to do about it? Because shouldn’t we love ourselves for who we are?
Yes and no. Let me explain.
You should of course love yourself for who you are, let’s be clear on that, but that doesn’t mean that maybe some things about you need work. Me getting angry for example, it doesn’t benefit anyone and no one likes it. It’s completely useless most of the time so why would my body feel the urge to express itself in such a way, when later on I always think that I never even wanted to react like that in the first place?
Such a personality trait, is something to work on. To try to do better.
On the other hand there are also people who don’t like the fact that they’re not confident enough. Also very understandable. This time, it’s definitely also good to better this about yourself, it’s just a different type of change. With my example, I need to stop doing something that is hurting people, if you want to gain more confidence, it’s important to keep being nice to yourself because essentially it’s not hurting anyone, including yourself most of the time, and you simply need to take tiny steps into improving that, which can definitely be done. But see the difference there? Am I making myself clear?
There’s a difference on hating an aspect of your personality that is not beneficial for your own well being and an aspect that’s not beneficial to your own well being as well as it might be hurting others.
It’s definitely not easy to admit that your behaviour might be hurting someone close to you. It’s never easy to admit that you’re not being nice or that you’re wrong but it’s definitely important. Acceptance is the first step to change they say right?
In the end what I’m trying to say here that, in contrary of you loving your body for what it is, if you have a personality trait that you don’t like, you can definitely try to change it. And not because you want to change yourself entirely, but because you want to better yourself. This could be for yourself or maybe also to be nicer to others.
This is not an excuse to hate yourself entirely and start picking apart every single personality trait that you dislike. There’s never an entire person to hate, because you truly are worthy of yourself and if you want to use this post as an excuse to start picking apart every aspect of your personality that you dislike, then you can stop now, because you are amazing as you are. I am simply talking about changing or bettering those traits that will make us a better human being, such as being more confident or being less shouty-angry.
It’s definitely okay to better one tiny piece of yourself, but don’t try to change it all.